1st
On emoticons…>:(
So you are over 25 and you think its cool to use emoticons? really? smily faces are cute? do you also like the Jonas Brothers? are you wearing a keffiyeh around your neck right now - not out of solidarity with Palastine but just ‘cause? how tight are your jeans? if you are not sure what i mean by ‘how tight’ take this quiz: can you sit down? (y/n/maybe) if you can, how much of your boxerbriefs/hanky-pankies show when you do so? (1 inches/2 inches/thats why i wore clean ones today) do you use the word ‘hipster’ disparagingly on a regular basis (eg: Man, williamsburg was so rad back in the day, before all the hipsters moved in…)? If you are a boy, did you have a goatee back in the ’90s? follow up: what about a soul patch? If you are a girl, have you worn leg-warmers in the past 20 years? follow up: what about arm-warmers?
If the answers to any of the above questions are yes, then go ahead, by all means, use as many emoticons you want. Its OK. I understand what you’re telling me. You’re saying that you are not trying very hard in this text/email/bberry message. You’re in a hurry. Stuff is very important and you don’t have a lot of time to send me this text/email/bberry. You’re in a cab/at work/getting on the subway/at dinner with someone/drinking in a crowded bar. You don’t have time to wrack your brain to come up with an actual word such as “sorry” or “kidding.” I know its hard. I totally understand.
I also expect you to understand when I use one back to you. You know what I’m saying. I’m busy. You’re sweet, but really, who has the time. I’m tired, and possibly drunk. Frankly, I’m phoning it in. but thats OK. so are you.
- Ellie ;)
