3rd
When animals attack! in NYC.
Last night, en route to the bar to watch the ballgame, I came across a small crowd of people clustered in the middle of my block staring up in the air. Visions of ‘The Happening’ flashed through my head. I walked over and asked a guy with a vintage Beatles haircut and Elvis shades what was going on. He pointed up to the fire escape of the nearest building. I looked up and saw an enormous hawk gnawing on some sort of bloody dead thing, and suddenly realized that the sidewalk was splattered with blood and PIECES of whatever the bird was eating. As I stood there stunned with revulsion, I became aware of the running commentary of the people around me. They mostly seemed to be encouraging the slaughter- “Wow he got a really big chunk there” and “Damn, look at all that blood.” My friend Elvis Glasses was grinning widely. I coped with the gore the only way I knew how - I snapped an iphone pic and headed to the bar. If ‘The Birds’ is coming true, I better be good and drunk before the vultures get me.
